Liar, Liar, Pants on fire

I picked my son up from the bus stop this morning, where he had been waiting to take the bus to the bus stop in front of our home, for the bus to school. It is cold and wet out. My ex sounded like he rather preferred to bus it but I was not having it.
My son was sullen- and he is a strong/silent type.. I want coffee (it's fucking early) and go to the local drive through cafe. Finally, after a bit of hot chocolate he tells me that he doesn't trust his dad.
Okay I bit, "Why?"

Rewind- The day before yesterday he cut his head open on a table at school. It's a nasty little gash, a self-inflicted battle scar from horsing around inside when he should have been studying. Live and learn. I picked him up from school and took him to the doctor-who advises the watch for behavioral changes and most specifically, in the event he has a concussion, there is a protocol in which to follow- wake him twice during the night and make sure he is cognizant of who and where he is, when I go to bed and again 4 hours later. Ouch. I can sleep through a hurricane- so can he. In past, I've put my fist through a window when someone attempted to wake me.... punched my bed-mates and so forth. This lovely attribute he has inherited from me but he is still too little to be as volatile. Nonetheless, he is extremely hard to wake, frustratingly so.

At around midnight I woke him up... fully, then went to sleep. At around 4am I woke up panicked, afraid, worried I had slept too long... my internal alarm had gone off. I yelled for him (from about 4 feet away) and it woke him up, clearly.

Anyway, everything is hunky dory, he has a normal school day.... and it is his dad's afternoon with him. I packed the information sheet from the doctor with the instructions on waking him (a 48hr process) and expect for him to care enough to read and follow it. I have a dear friend in town and had asked for him to stay overnight so I might visit with my friend... which is why the following morning, this morning, they were at the bus stop together.

My son says that he thinks his dad lied to him. He said, "I don't remember him waking me up", so I would understand. I asked him if he remembered me waking him up... (how could he not? I WOKE his ass up!) and with tears in his eyes he nods.

When I have to explain other people's actions to my son, I get mad. (something I keep to myself) but it goes hand in hand with promising to do one thing or another only to not only NOT do it, but then never bother mentioning it again. I tell him that his dad is embarrassed by his failure of not being able to wake up, and instead of being honest, he lies because  he is afraid of being thought of as careless. It is obvious that my kid has inherited my complete distaste for lies. He is so sincere when he then tells me that he is never going to lie again. While I don't believe it for a second, (come on-he's a 9 year old boy)... and although I told him, "I hoped that you haven't been lying..", causing him to stutter explanations, I find it to be so unbelievably cute (but still very unsettling) that he makes such assured statements, sincerely. He is so earnest about his will for honesty. It breaks my heart that his suffering trust issues with his dad continues.

It was a simple task. Wake him twice.. and really? He couldn't manage to do that? Fucking selfish prick. I hate feeling like a liar every time I have to make grand any focus on his dad's feeble attempts at basic parenting functions, in opposed to saying what I really feel. No one grants ME credit. I am highly criticized.

No wait.
That's right. The Superior Court does. This is exactly why I have full custody. Duh.